https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Sou1DetL9ujJlnNcI_sI6Nig_F_IxL-IbTPRTaZMt7cEYHcH5nTi5o8QuzYP7Y3bUN-V9n4msvDpofRVOcsGQaIDsY6rFQLlICeIhQplQfAzsYM-7OIMPT9IfAl3BMWBEqG5h3fxqZs/s1600/children.jpg
When do you grow up? This has been the age old question for almost every person and the subject of countless books and movies. First of all, what does it even mean to be a grown up, an adult? According to the dictionary an adult is: a person who is fully grown and developed and has attained the age of maturity as specified by the law. Although that may seem like a cut and dry answer, I really don't think it is. Many people reach sexual maturity at age 13 and legal maturity by 18. However, I've never considered a 13 year old a grown up and consider very few 18 year olds grown ups. Why? The word "grown up", to me at least, connotes to responsibility and emotional maturity. Someone who can make good, responsible decisions under pressure and is able to take care of themselves. Additionally, a grown up has gone through the awkward and slightly painful moment where the realize they're no longer a child.
I'm writing all of this because I feel like the painful moment when I realized I was no longer a little kid happened a few nights ago. Sure, going off to college, having a "real" job and being responsible for all of my own expenses at times make me feel like I'm growing up, but I've never considered myself a grown up.
A few nights ago, an older woman in my community passed away. Although this marks the 4th person that I've known that has died in the past 18 months, her death hit me especially hard. The weird part was that I wasn't even especially close to her. However, she was one of the people that I just never pictured life with out. She had many children, grand children and great grandchildren. Like, a lot. It seemed everyone in her small town was related to her, and if they weren't, they wished they were. I went to school with several of her great-grandkids, and she was at every school event and every community event that ever happened (and in fact led many of the community events).
When I heard of her passing, I was shocked. She couldn't have died, she just couldn't, I thought. I thought back on all of my elementary memories that had her in it, which led to me thinking about times with her great-grandkids, which led me to think of the endless summers growing up and I slowly began to realize I'm not a little kid anymore.
I'm one of the few people, I believe, that can say I had the perfect childhood. Now, it was not free from pain or mistakes. Instead, it was full of long summer days at my great-grandma's (Jon-Jont) playing with my many cousins, camping in Northern Vermont, long days buildings dams in the creek, and starting many business attempts (I was a strange child, but now I have my own business). When I think of my childhood, I think of the picture below:
That's me and my hero, my grandma Donna, on the stone wall in front of our house that borders a huge field. That's my safe place. When I was mad or needed to think, I'd go there. You can see the mountains, watch the horses in the field, watch Gramma make dinner and watch my family members drive home up the hill. When I sat there I'd dream about what I'd be like when I was older. Now, every time I go home I go back and sit on that same rock, and remember what it was like to be little.
Anyways....that was kind of long, so, my point:
One of the things that I don't like about growing up is the loss on innocence The life that you thought would be so great actually comes back to bite you in the rear. The cute boy you dreamt of dating = heartbreak. You couldn't wait to have a job = bills to pay. You couldn't wait to be able to do what ever you want = big mistakes. However, in all of this, God has the opportunity to do wonders. It's at our weakest points that He is able to come in, if we let Him, rebuild our heart, comfort us and help us make better choices in the future. Growing up is one big learning curve. You fail, you learn from it. You make an awesome achievement, you learn from it.
Another thing I don't like about growing up is that I see all the mistakes I made. I told Gramma I hate her, which is the biggest lie I've ever told. I love that woman more than life itself. However, I now know I really need to guard my thoughts and the connection between my emotions, my thoughts and my mouth. Gram knows I don't hate her. I can't take back what is said, but I know to be careful with what I say.
It makes me sad that I wasted so much of my childhood wishing I was older. There are so many great things to being little! Now, I need to realize to cherish every stage of my life, like the awesome stage I'm in right now! Instead of looking back or forward, I need to focus on and cherish today. I need to learn from my past and plan for my future, but I essentially need to focus on today and what God wants me to do today.
Probably the biggest thing I miss about being little is the people. Everyone I loved was still alive, like Grandpa. Man, oh man, I miss him. HOW EXCITING IS IT that when I get to Heaven, I'll be with all my loved ones that have gone before me that believed in Christ! AND, there will be no pain and no sin! No more mistakes! And we'll be together in perfect, perfectness, this is so exciting! I need to focus on pointing my family to Christ, not dreading their eventually death, but looking forward to the awesome reunion.
"Don't let people look down on you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Tim. 4:12
No matter what stage you are in your life, no matter if you're in a stormy season or a sunny day, realize what God is calling you to do today. Learn from your past, plan for tomorrow, but don't let either of them become idols. Run the good race, and aim to be an example for all in how you act, how you live, your faith and how you love.
No comments:
Post a Comment