Over the past year God has made it exceedingly clear what He wants me to do: "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and the helpless and see that they get justice" (Proverbs 31:8-9). I feel He's been calling me to help oppressed children, specifically orphans and those suffering from the horrors of sex slavery.
So, what did I do when He made it so strikingly clear that He wanted me to do this? I told Him, "no". I kindly reminded Him that His will for my life was to live in the upper middle class, marry a solid guy, have two children and use the extra money that we weren't using for vacations to give to kids in our church going on short term mission trips. I wanted the cookie cutter Christmas card with a handsome guy and two kids that resemble us. I wanted the freedom to wear designer clothes. I wanted to obtain my dream of living in a big log cabin.
But then God reminded me that this was what I wanted for my life, not what He wanted me to do. And this, friends, was a hard pill to swallow.
I've spent my entire life running from the fear of ending up at the same socioeconomic level of my parents. Once I've reached the upper middle class, I'll be able to chillax and listen to God more, I've thought. I've worked so hard to get where I am. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to rise out of broken home and become a first generation college student? It's pretty flipping hard. And now, God was telling me to give up all of my physical possessions, and go to some other part of the world, to once again be poor? No thank you!
Slowly but surely, God began to work on my heart and my mind. Ironically, I'm in a class this semester called, "Critical Concern with Children", where we literally learn about everything terrible that could happen to a child: physical and sexual abuse, trafficking, organ harvesting, foster care, orphans, AIDS, wars...the list goes on and on. Every class my heart broke. Why aren't people doing something to help these children?
In preparation for one of these classes, I had to read an exceptionally difficult article. I threw my papers across my room, sprawled out on my bed, and just cried. I yelled out at God, "How can You let this happen? Why aren't You protecting these innocent children? Why aren't You sending people to help them?" And although I didn't hear an audible voice, I felt God clearly say in my heart, "Because they keep telling me no, just like you." Talk about a big piece of humble pie.
That moment, I did something slightly radical. I pulled out in prayer journal and wrote (so I would have proof that I actually told God this):
November 11, 2013
God,
You've laid TOO big of a burden on my heart: end trafficking and give every orphan a home. I CANNOT do this. But YOU CAN! And God, USE ME! SEND ME! ENABLE ME! To do this....God, I'm giving you EVERYTHING! My dreams, my career, my future marriage, my home, HOW you will bring me children, my future children and my finances. It's all Yours. TAKE IT! USE IT! USE ME! SEND ME! Enable ME!"
Giving that to Him was one of the most freeing and terrifying things that I've ever done. And guess what, God began working super quick.
Within the next week, my trip to Africa became fully funded, the ministry at school that I lead hosted a successful Rape Awareness Week that led to at least 2 girls getting into counseling, and I was asked to go to Bulgaria to work with an anti-trafficking organization. Holy. Smokes.
This got me wondering: if God can do all this in less than a month in the life of a college student, what more could happen if Christians around the world did this? What if we all began focusing on the eternal and not the temperal.
Let's face it: One day, you're gonna die. Two hundred years from now, no one will remember you here on Earth. Even if you make the text books, no one will remember YOU, just something you did. Your college degree will one day fall off the wall or be taken down. Your home will one day disappear. Your clothes will eventually be in a thrift store. Yet, we work SO HARD to obtain this stuff, and focus SO LITTLE on the most important eternal thing: leading other people to Salvation through Jesus Christ.
Remember me in your prayer times. Pray that God will continue to give me guidance and courage to do the impossible: end trafficking and help every orphan find a home. Pray that I'll remember: "Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with people is possible with God'" (Luke 18:27).
